Jealous of Generosity

Jealous of Generosity

Life can be so unfair. Take for instance the guy who just won the 344 million dollar Powerball lottery by selecting the numbers off of a fortune cookie. How does that even happen? What about the millions of other people who have won the lottery of life. They married into money, they inherited a fortune, or they just have Forrest Gump luck in life. Everything they touch turns to gold.

It’s easy to play the comparison game and feel like we’ve been dealt a raw deal. When someone I know upgrades to a new house, a shiny new car, or becomes the recipient of a financial windfall, it’s hard to resist feelings of jealousy. My mom used to constantly remind me that “life just isn’t fair.” She also encouraged me to consider the millions of other people who had it worse than me. As hard as I tried, jealousy was hard to get rid of.

In Matthew 20, Jesus shares a parable with a powerful punch line. The parable begins with a landowner who recruits workers for his vineyard at the going rate of one denarius for a full day of labor. He goes out again at noon, 3pm, and about 5pm as the day is drawing to an end to recruit more workers extending them the same offer. At the end of the day, the landowner pays each worker what they are due beginning with those who started work at 5pm. He went down the line and paid the workers recruited at 3pm, noon, and 9am paying each of them one denarius. The workers who began the day in the morning were infuriated.

‘Those people worked only one hour, and yet you’ve paid them just as much as you paid us who worked all day in the scorching heat.’

Matthew 20

The landowner responded…

‘Friend, I haven’t been unfair! Didn’t you agree to work all day for the usual wage? Take your money and go. I wanted to pay this last worker the same as you. Is it against the law for me to do what I want with my money? Should you be jealous because I am kind to others?’

Matthew 20

I’m going to be honest. This parable has always bothered me. It gets under my skin. It seems like fairness and equity are being thrown out the window and Jesus is giving a pass to favoritism. How many times in life have I felt like a victim as someone else was given preferential treatment? It’s a painful experience. Is Jesus being dismissive of this kind of behavior here? On the other hand, there is ancient wisdom in what Jesus is saying. I know that if I can receive it, it has the power to transform how I respond to difficult situations. Here’s three things I am wrestling with as I contend with this teaching of Jesus.

I want to be acknowledged for the things I’ve done.

Who doesn’t? We all want to be celebrated. We love to be complimented and patted on the back for a job well done. I desire to be acknowledged so deeply that whenever I see someone else getting attention, it irritates me. It’s easy to start to judge that person and question whether or not they deserve everything that has come their way. Have they worked as hard as I have? Are they even a good person, deserving of such honor and respect?

I love the spotlight and when it’s not shining on me, it feels like my efforts are in vain. We are merit based creatures. We want to know that our hard work pays off and that we are being rewarded for our good deeds. It’s very difficult to receive generosity in the form of God’s free grace. Sometimes it’s even more difficult to see him extend it to others. How often have I fought the urge to blurt out, “what about me?” And yet, everyone in this parable got paid. Those who thought they deserved more were only losers in their own minds.

I have a poverty complex.

It sounds harsh, but follow me. I grew up in a large family and often times there just wasn’t enough to go around. I had to get to the good stuff on the dinner table before it disappeared. Most of us are wired this way. We struggle with the innate fear that there won’t be enough. It’s easy to want to put God into this category. After all, there’s only so much to go around, right? It’s absurd to think that way, but we still do. Jesus’ desire is to expose this lack of faith and help us think differently about the blessings he pours out all of our lives. There’s no limit. God is not constrained by limitations in the way we understand them. “He owns the cattle on a thousand hills,” the Psalmist wrote. When I project my own poverty onto God, it almost always leads to pettiness. If I’m ever going to free myself of this attitude, I have to let go of the limitations I’ve set on him in my own mind.

I want fairness for myself, but do I really?

This is the crux of the matter. I love to expose unfairness when it is happening at my expense. But do I really want to be treated fairly, according to what I deserve? What does that even mean? We quantify getting what is deserved solely on the basis of comparing ourselves to others. If so and so works for eight hours and gets paid twice as much as I do for doing the same job, that’s unfair! But who determines fair compensation? It’s a complex set of social standards and agreements. It also happens to be horribly imperfect and corrupt. Perhaps this is why God expressed his unmerited favor. While we crave to be acknowledged for what we have accomplished, we couldn’t ever know what it means to live up to God’s standards. It’s not that his standards are too lofty. It’s that we would never lay down our pursuit of perfection. Our own standards would eventually kill us. Think the Pharisees in Jesus day.

At the end of the day, it’s not fair for you and it’s not fair for me. I guess that makes it fair for all of us!