Westside Church

March 04, 2010 by Pastor Jeremiah

This last week we challenged married couples at Westside to pray with each other every day.  Many have taken on this challenge and the feedback we've received so far has been excellent.  It's amazing that something as simple as praying with one another can have such a positive impact upon the marriage relationship.  What's more amazing is that something as effective as praying together as a couple can be so neglected.  Statistically, only 8% of Christian couples pray together on a regular basis.  Obviously, there are some hurdles that we need to clear in order to make praying together as a couple a priority.  So, here's my top ten “Couples' prayer tips”.

Move past your fears – The opposite of love is not hate, it's fear.  Fear is keeping us from experiencing life at its fullest as married couples.  1 John 4:18 says, “there is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear.”  Many husbands and wives express fear over praying together because it leaves them feeling vulnerable.  This feeling is very real, but in order to experience true love it is necessary to push through these fears.  I can think of no better way to overcome those fears than by committing to pray through them together as a couple.

Schedule a time and a place to pray – Life gets busy and it's very easy to neglect prayer.  Even if you have the best of intentions, praying together is often put on the shelf in place of more pressing matters.  So, be intentional and schedule it, or make it a routine.  My wife and I pray before bed.  It's quiet, it's peaceful, and it puts me to sleep (just kidding).

Be Spontaneous – Schedules can be great for creating consistency in praying together, but praying in the moment can be very powerful.  Be sensitive to when God's Spirit may be prompting you to pray together.  Is your spouse going through stress?  Do you have an important deadline to meet?  Are any of your family members in trouble?  Pray together in the moment.

Start by holding hands – This may seem intuitive for many of you, but don't forget to hold hands.  Prayer is an intimate act and holding hands helps to communicate to one another that you desire to be unified as a couple.

Talk about your needs before you pray – Simply opening up a discussion about the needs in your own family, in your marriage, or in the lives of friends and neighbors can make your prayer time more meaningful.

Pray for needs first, then desires – Prayer is a lot like an engine.  Sometimes you need to warm up before you can get into gear.  Start by praying through a list of needs.  Take turns addressing these issues.  Allow the Holy Spirit to draw you into deeper levels of prayer as a couple.

Pray the prayers of scripture – Some of you may be intimidated with your lack of experience in prayer.  I want to encourage you to pray the prayers in scripture.  Pray through the Lord's prayer from Matthew 6:9-13, pray for your family members according to Hebrews 13:20-21, pray through Ephesians 6:10-18 putting on the full armor of God, and pray through Paul's prayers found in Philippians 1:9-11 and Ephesians 1:16-19.  Over time, praying through these prayers will bring growth and depth to your prayer life.

Quiet time – Life is chaotic and noisy.  Sometimes sitting together in stillness and meditating on a scripture, or a word from God can be very powerful.  Take the time to listen to what the Holy Spirit may want to say to you as a couple.  Remember, prayer is a dialogue, not a monologue, so listening is required.

Persevere – If you've made a commitment to pray, but it's been a few days, or weeks since you've followed through, don't give up!  This is not easy.  We are fighting for a great marriage and let's be honest if that was easy we wouldn't see divorce rates being what they are today.  Let's believe for something better.  

Pray Naked - This leads to other things that are good for your marriage!

I have never seen anything like the power of prayer in a marriage. Pray each day for your spouse and pray each day for your marriage. Pray that God will make your marriage into something extraordinary. Pray that He will deepen your love for each other and for Him.  Let's change the world one marriage at a time!