Westside Church

February 26, 2010
by Pastor Jeremiah

A few months back I ran across an article at CNN.com revealing that many wives are now outearning their husbands at work.  A Pew Research Center survey released in January 2010 found that 22% of men made less money than their wives in 2007.  By comparison, 4% of husbands earned less than their wives in 1970.  I don't think that comes as a surprise to many of us, but is this growing trend a good thing for our society, for our families?

My favorite radio talk show happened to be tackling the debate this morning. They asked women to call in and respond to this question, “How many women will continue working after having a kid if the family doesn't need the money?” It's a good question.  While many people focus on the financial pressures that force families into a two income lifestyle, what if those financial pressures disappeared?  Would women still go to work? 

• Parenting – No one will raise your kids better than you do.  While many daycare teachers and nannies may be excellent, they are still mercenaries.  Children, especially in the pre-school years, need the devoted oversight of a full time parent.  This provides security, discipline, education, and emotional health.  
• Margin – Being a parent is truly a full-time job.  Having two full time jobs and adding parenting to the plate is a recipe for burnout.  I was talking with a recently divorced single mom who was forced to take on a full time job and she said that her biggest challenge is time.  She doesn't have the time to do the things she was able to do for her family before.  She was the manager of the schedule, the social connecter, planning family get togethers and parties.  She took care of a child who was sick.  She took care of her parents who needed her help from time to time.  She was the glue that held everything and everyone together.  Now, performing all of those duties is still necessary, but it's hard to do it right when there is no margin.
• Finances – At the end of the day, is a double income family truly doubling their income?  Sure, they are making more money, but at what price?  Daycare expenses have to be considered, being placed in a higher tax bracket is often a concern, transportation costs most likely will increase, eating out becomes a more appealing option after both husband and wife have put in a full business day.  These are the minor factors.  The real issues surface when couples are forced to juggle their work priorities while they both share the responsibilities at home.  Neither of them function to their full potential professionally.  Because they are trying to share the full time duties of managing the home, they only put forth a part time performance professionally. These and other factors should make us question the validity of the duel income survival strategy.
• Community – A lot has been said about the collapse of the family in the 21st century and the negative consequences that come from that.  It's obvious that with the increasing number of broken homes our society is suffering.  However, even if couples do manage to stick it out in marriage, are they functioning correctly?  Don't get me wrong, stay at home moms aren't perfect, but they are better positioned to make a positive impact in the community.  Our schools need volunteers and PTA members, our kids need to be involved in activities that don't involve sitting in front of the TV all day, our families need friends and moms are the most likely to cultivate those relationships between families, lastly, moms make great activists and community organizers making us aware of the great social ills of our day.