Westside Church

February 11, 2010
by Pastor Jeremiah

Apparently, the seven year itch is more than just a movie, it's a reality.  We live in a generation that has so completely given up on the thought of ever experiencing happily ever after in marriage, that we have decided to flush our expectations down the toilet.  Introducing the marriage license with an expiration date.  Well ...not yet, but it's coming soon to a drive-in chapel near you.   

Next week we are beginning a new series at Westside titled “The Vow”.  We'll be dealing with the topic of marriage through the grid of the traditional vows exchanged between a husband and wife on their wedding day.  As I've been researching for this series, I came across an intriguing new concept.  Disposable marriages.  Gabriele Pauli, a German legislator proposed a measure to place an expiration date on marriage licenses issued through the state.  A marriage license would be no different than a driver's license.  If you wanted to renew, just go in and extend the license.  If you have had enough, voila, just let it expire.  After all, marriages are like fruit, they only spoil with time (sarcasm here).

Pauli says of marriage, “the basic approach is wrong ...many marriages last just because people believe they are safe.” It just so happens that Pauli has been twice divorced.  Is it possible that her subjective experience accounts for her opinion of marriage? Ironically, Pauli is making a bid for a leadership position within her Christian Social Union party.

The real question is, what are marriages for?  Are they simply for safety?  Are they the best arrangement we can think of in which to raise children?  Here's a popular definition that is out there, “marriage is an ancient man made institution created for a variety of reasons that were basically financially motivated.  Couples rarely got married because they were 'in love.'”  

Now we're getting somewhere.  Marriage is about the “in love” feeling.  If that's our definition of marriage, then the 7 year marriage license makes perfect sense.  My only problem is, why stop at 7 years?  Let's sign our marriage licenses with erasable markers.  After all, my “in love” feelings can be quite fickle.  I'm in love with my wife in the morning, irritated in the afternoon, downright angry in the evening, but back in love with her just in time for bed.  

We don't need a definition for marriage, we need a definition for love (hint: 1 Corinthians 13 is a good place to start).  True love is revealed in the traditional marriage vows exchanged between a husband and wife.  For better or worse, til' death do us part, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health... these wedding vows reflect a deeply committed relationship.  They hold the keys for a strong and lasting marriage.  Why do we insist upon shallow, fickle relationships when God has given us the capacity for true love.  After all, marriage was his idea, not ours. 


*If you in Seattle, swing by Westside church and check us out!